On to the next one.

I feel sick. Naim is on his way to meet ANOTHER potential. He’s been chatting with her for a few months. She is a new shahadah. She seems different from the others. She’s younger than me, and I am not old. I’m 26. She has 1 kid. I guess it’s better than Umm Kasem’s 4. She lives about an hour from us. From what I can tell this one doesn’t send inappropriate pictures of herself, and she doesn’t leave nasty messages. She added me on facebook yesterday I accepted. I’m not sure why. She sends me friendly text messages. I don’t know why I am no longer angry about this. Allahu Alim.



Hey everyone! I’m back. My life has been chaotic and stressful. I thought I was going to lose my mother. She was in the ICU. My good friend died of cancer. My heart was just broken. I’m not getting back in the swing of things. Ok update on Naim and I.

We are still together. He hasn’t been physical with me sense that night. I’m looking for a taser gun in case that changes. I let him know if there was a next time he would not only be going to jail, but I’d stun his ass. And then call my crazy cousins from East St. Louis to have a talk with him. I believe that we are just different people, and this isn’t going to work. I’m saving my money, so that when my job moves to Baltimore in a year, I can just pick up and go.

I’m young, positive, and I believe( and have been told) a nice person. I don’t want to waste my youth and life on someone who doesn’t deserve me.

Did I mention the serial wannabe polygamist is talking to another sister LOL

This one has 5 kids. SubhanAllah this just keeps getting better. I wonder if he is planning on moving them into my living room. I suggested it. I told him we could make it a huge bedroom. How cute? I told him let me know what colors they want the living room. i’ll even put up animal decals on the walls if he’d like.


Hope everyone is well.

“A” game

Lately Naim has been so good to me. So romantic It’s like we are newlyweds again. All week I haven’t contemplated punching him in the neck..wait I’m lying I considered it once. I appreciate the small things. They add up. We leave for work at early crackheaded hours, the other morning I got to sleep in a little bit. When I got in my car I noticed he had cleaned the ice and snow off my car for me. The other morning when I woke up I heard noises, I’m thinking he’s on his dumb xbox360, but no he was in the kitchen cleaning. This weekend out of the blue he made me breakfast. His cooking isn’t great but the effort meant so much to me. He told me that if he had married Umm Kasem he would have been at my house for dinner every night :). She did cook once for us when she was here. It was ok. She raved and raved about her salty greens ick. I wish I could do a voice blog on her voice. I swear she reminded me of an 80 year old man with Emphysema lol. Anyways back to Naim, I got a back rub which he never does. I don’t think he was just trying to get some either. I asked him if he is talking to someone? Or if he did something. He isn’t. Its just been nice, I’ve missed this Naim.


I’m on twitter 🙂

I’m new to it, so go easy on me :).


I hope everyone has a safe night inshAllah. Tonight we are hanging out at Ama’s place.

 We went to Jummah today it was awesome. Turns out there is  masjid about a mile from us. AWESOME!

The place was packed. I was ecstatic that the whole khutba was in English. lol.

The imam was awesome mashAllah. I wish there was more room. It was hardly any room for the sisters to pray. I accidently kicked a sister in the head during salat. Anyways I’m off to wait for the delivery man, I ordered calamari hmmmm.

A good man

OK so maybe I was tripping when you look at the cold facts.

I guess I just started to feel bad for some of her situation. I guess I should put an explanation- examples or whatever of why Naim dropped her like a bad habit.

I think I mentioned already the fact that she didn’t bathe the first few days. He was just disgusted by that. We only know that she technically did the day I was home. Naim just said I can’t imagine being married to a woman like that.

I have already mentioned that I had friday off for work. So I was in the kitchen cooking, and I kept going to the living room. My kitchen is open, and I can look out on the living room. My good friend Ama ( I think this is what I named her here, if not sorry for the mix up, but she also lives in the same apt complex as us) was there too.  Ama  and Umm Kasem kept switching off using my laptop. I kept hearing a song go off on her phone. It was India.Arie. I used to be a huge fan so I’d recognize her voice anywhere. I said ” Oh, I know that song that India Arie – GoodMan” I teased her and said is that your baby daddy’s ( I think I mentioned before that she doesn’t like calling him ex husband, she prefers baby daddy, whatever)ring tone? She said no. I just heard her argue with her baby daddy, and that song had came up. She later said my song for him is some rap song ” That’s just my baby daddy” which I didn’t hear all week, honestly. I know the song, I’m the oldest of 5 little hip hop heads. Here are the into lyrics to the song

“I remember the first day
I met you
we were so young
you were a blessing
and there was no guessing
you were the one”

It’s a sweet song. I just wonder why she lied. I may not be from the “hood”, but I’m not an idiot.

I mentioned it to Ama later she said she heard it too. I told Naim about it the day she left. He said yeah I kept hearing that song go off in the car, and all morning. He said I feel there is something more going on with her and him. It doesn’t sit right with me. He didn’t like that she always has her phone with her and he was talking to her she said she was in the car with her ride. Then he kept calling her to get her bus info( she was originally going to take Greyhound), she didn’t answer the phone. He said she always picks up first or second ring. When she called him back 30 minutes later it was silent and she said she was on a city bus. He said it gave him pause, because within minutes she was magically in the car with her ride again who ended up being her baby daddy.

Another concern he had was her scams…. I have to finish this later. A certain little girl needs me 🙂

Lately hubby and I have been drawing closer to our faith which I love. He spent almost $500 on books!!!

SubhanAllah. I’m soo so so excited. I love asking him questions and picking his brains. I’ve also been contemplating how I acted towards Umm Kasem. Maybe it’s a lack of humbleness, but I don’t feel bad. Maybe I should pray more. There are only benefits in salah.

I kind of miss her and her ghetto-ness. Maybe I’m psychotic, having a breakdown. I talked to Naim about it. He said absolutely not, and for me to get over it :(. He thinks it’s gross that she doesn’t bathe every day. He also doesn’t trust her. I told him maybe we should give it another try and he gave me a bad look. Work is fine. I love the little girl I take care of so much. I was so happy to see her. She saw me and came running to me saying, ” Auntie 7abibti” 🙂 I love her. It makes me pray for my own child one day inshAllah. Today I almost wrote Umm Kasem, but I didn’t because I think Naim would be angry. I need to get a hobby!


I changed the title, it sounded harsh and mean. Not my intention.

A brother will be moving in the area soon. I told Naim that he has no where to live, so can he sleep on our couch.

Honestly I just wanted to see what he would say. Naim said absolutely not, there are times you would be alone with him. I said but this was the set up with Umm Kasem. I told him the same thing he said to me ” You would leave a Muslim in the cold, astagfirullah!”

He just said no, it’s not happening. I wonder if he see’s the hypocrisy in his statement.